Disappointed but partly relieved

I had been having a lot of tingling and numbness in my right hand for the last few months, along with stabbing pains shooting up my palm, through the tips of my first three fingers whenever I stretched out my arm or bent back my hand.  It became particulary noticeable and bothersome in the last few weeks, so I made an appointment to see an orthopaedist.  He confrimed today what I had suspected for a while: carpal tunnel syndrome. 

It's been a big fear of mine for years, but especially this past year, because I have been training myself to become a court reporter.  Sore wrists and numb fingers to a court reporter is like a cracked rib to a quarterback; you can still do the job, maybe not as proficiently, but is the potential for permanent physical damage really worth the risk?  I'll have to think about that some more.  I'm disappointed, yes, indeed I am.  I was almost up to 140 wpm!  A far cry from 225, which is where I needed to be to become certified, but I was getting there slowly but surely.  It took hours and hours of practice over the last eight months (first four months was learning the theory) to get there, so of COURSE I'm disappointed.  But, part of me is a little relieved, I must admit, because the hours and hours of practice was, well, to put it lightly, a drag.  It reminded me of when I was a kid and I had to practice my bassoon.  I hated it.  I loved playing my bassoon, but I hated practicing, just like I love steno and hate practicing today.  My bassoon was just replaced with the stenograph; my disdian for practice, however, will never diminish.